Imagine being 16 and witnessing your parents’ divorce. Imagine finding out at this time that the man who raised you is not your biological father. After finding your biological father and failing to connect, you go through the next three decades just living your life. You have a child. You get married. You get divorced. And then you take a DNA test and experience a DNA surprise all over again. Only this time, the truth is closer to home than you imagine. In this week’s episode
In this week’s episode, Ray shares his remarkable DNA surprise journey, including how he finally discovered the true identity of his biological father.
Sometimes, DNA surprises happen more than once. NPEs, adoptees, and donor-conceived people might have their worlds shaken, only to have it happen again months, years, or even decades later. In this week’s episode, Daughter Dee shares her late discovery adoptee experience, which was followed decades later by an NPE. She shares how she learned that she was adopted, how she uncovered the truth about her biological father, and how she’s turned her experiences into helping others.
What is more shocking than one NPE discovery? Two NPE discoveries. In this week’s episode, Pam shares how she spent 20 years believing that her “dad” wasn’t sure biological father, but another man with whom she had a strained relationship.
Imagine her surprise when, after the invention of commercial DNA tests, she uncovered another truth – that her biological father was someone else entirely.
One of the things I’ve observed throughout my conversations within this community is that NPEs often explain away confusing details about their conception or births because we trust our parents. We believe what we’re told. In this week’s episode, Sam explains how she always felt different from her sisters and raised her father but trusted what her mother told her. Eventually, she uncovers a mystery with multiple possible biological fathers. Sam shares how she found her biological father’s identity (with the help of DNAngels) and how she’s connecting with her newfound family, even though he died just 18 months before she identified him.
DNA surprises can cause major disruptions to our interpersonal relationships, particularly the bonds we have with our raised parents. But often what most affects those relationships isn’t the surprises themselves, but how people act afterward.
In this episode, Stacy shares how she uncovered not one, but two NPEs throughout her life. She shares how she’s built amazing relationships with her newfound family and how things have unfortunately deteriorated with her mother. At the very end of this episode, Stacy graciously shares the letter that she wrote her mother in its entirety–and her mother’s response.
Oftentimes in the DNA surprise community, one NPE leads to another. In this week’s episode, Scarlett shares how she learned she was an NPE, only to learn that the man her mother identified wasn’t her biological father, either.
She tells us about her tumultuous upbringing, how her relationship with her raised family and newfound family is progressing, and how she tackled processing her DNA surprise. I spoke with Scarlett in July of last year, just a short time after her discovery in March. Stay tuned for an update from Scarlett at the end of the episode.
One of the things people in the DNA surprise community contend with is that we’ll never have all of the answers to our questions. In this week’s episode, Debra shares her story. She grew up with her mother and stepfather and was largely estranged from the man she believed to be her father. After reconnecting and building a relationship, she learned that the man on her birth certificate is not biologically related to her.
This week’s story tells not one, but two, shocking DNA discoveries. Growing up, Phil believed that the parents who raised him were his biological parents. As a child, he learned that his biological mother abandoned him and he was raised by his stepmother. Decades later, he learned that his raised father isn’t his biological parent, either.